Just call trash trash
December 3rd, 2009
There are different ways you can react to the great void that is the thousand channel universe. Broadly put, you can either be indignant, indifferent, or go along for the ride. Admittedly, I guess you could also be a booster of the expansive banality that is modern TV, but let’s put that aside for the moment.
It’s not hard to imagine where the Globe and Mail might fall on this spectrum. Take a recent incident like the Adam Lambert appearance on the American Music Awards. Even this culturally-ignorant writer has an idea of who Mr. Lambert is, known at least partly for following in the cosmetic lineage of the Ziggy Bowie and Boy George. The Globe’s television critic, John Doyle, describes the controversy revolved around Lambert “touching a dancer, leading some guy around on a leash and kissing a man.” Similarly, another dancer “briefly stuck his head in Lambert’s crotch area”.
Mr. Doyle, who clearly has to deal with backward boobs all the time, is barely able to muster some world-weary sarcasm about why this incident might offend people. He reports that, of the 15 million people who watched the American Music Awards, apparently 1500 complained. In a deft bit of mathematical legerdemain, Doyle alludes to this very small number of complaints compared to the number of viewers (0.01% to be exact); even smaller when one considers the ~300 million people living in the United States.
Funny, but we used to ponder similar mathematics in politics. Out of say, 50,000 members, does three dozen complaint calls constitute a problem; or are they just 36 cranks? In that world, where you depend on volunteers and voluntary contributions, assuming the complainers are cranks carries some risk.
There is no such risk for Mr. Doyle. “Television is not for the easily insulted” he says. Or, as many others would say, if you’re annoyed just switch the channel. Fair enough.
Regarding the statistics, 1500 out of 15 million may actually be a lot. It just depends. Firstly, these are people who actually tuned in to watch this thing. They can’t have expected the Family Channel - those folks would have been self-selected out already. Most of them will have seen simulations of various acts and different malfunctions, wardrobe and otherwise, many times. So of this market segment, 1500 actually overcame inertia enough to complain about it. Let’s not take this too lightly.
You have to feel for Mr. Lambert though. In an industry, and culture for that matter, focussed on “expanding the boundaries”, “pushing the envelope” or simply just shocking for shock’s sake. - épater les couch-patates - he’s faced with the problem of doing something that will actually get people’s attention. If a little fraternal lip-locking, leash-bound servitude, or nodding in the “crotch area” will do the trick, so much the better. If reports are to be believed, that would in any case just be dramatizing the free time activities of Boy George.
Which brings us back to Mr. Doyle. Faced with what he admits is an entertainment wasteland, what is a reasonable reaction, ridiculing the complainers? Wouldn’t it be refreshing if someone, especially an opinion leader like Mr. Doyle, called trash what it is, trash? What a shock if it turned out he supported raising standards. Instead, we get a sigh, a wink and a nudge saying “boys will be boys”. That’s uplifting.
